The Best Laid Plans
by Silindro
Summary: Oneshot. Kakashi is late for a debriefing, and Sakura is far too tempting to leave home alone. He decides to send Tsunade a copy of himself instead. Bad idea. Kakashi x Sakura


Note: Not sure about the plausibility of my concept, but you'll read it and you'll enjoy it whether you want to or not! (Cause I say so)

Standard disclaimers apply.

**The Best Laid Plans**--

The return to the village had been the best thing about the copy ninja's week. Hatake Kakashi had been gone for nine days on an S-Rank mission in the north that had proved to be every bit the trouble he suspected from the beginning. But he was home now.

And standing in the doorway of his bedroom was the one thing he missed about Konoha most of all.

Seeing Sakura after so many days out and about was like breathing in the first breath of air after being held under water for too long. It was like water to a desert traveler. It was his true reward for the mission, and the thing he fought to protect the most. Seeing her made him believe in the overly-used cliché phrase 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'.

"I missed you," she said with a relived smile. "I was worried when you didn't come back the day before yesterday. Not that you're _ever_ on time…"

"There was a snag in the plans," he responded as he crossed the room. "I'm sure we can go over the details later."

"You have a debriefing," she reminded him as he began to back her into the bedroom. "And you're filthy."

""My mind is dirtier," he grinned into her neck. "And thanks to all of that Icha Icha of mine you've been reading, I suspect your mind isn't that spotless either."

Sakura blushed at his words, forgetting about the novels that she had stacked on the table next to the bed. Really she had only picked them up out of curiosity, but after a few pages she was drawn into the story. They really weren't terrible books once you got past all the smut. And even then the smut wasn't all _that_ bad.

"You've still got to report in," she mumbled against his lips, holding the mask against his chin.

"I can go later."

"Are you sure you want to make Tsunade-shishou wait?"

"What's the worst she'll do to me?"

"She could always send you on more missions."

The idea of being away from Konoha was a motivating factor. When he had a beautiful kunoichi waiting for him he wanted to spend all the time with her that he could manage. The last thing he needed was for the Hokage to spoil those plans.

"We'll compromise," he nodded.

Stepping back, he made the appropriate hand sign for the jutsu. A copy of himself appeared, ready to serve.

"Well that's smart," Sakura said. "But I'm not doing _anything_ with that clone."

The clone looked mildly offended.

"Oh don't give me that look," she said. "You aren't the real Kakashi."

"I beg to differ," he said, advancing over to where Sakura was reclining on the bed. Kakashi grabbed him by the back of his shirt.

"I don't think so," he said. "You're late for a meeting and I'm overdue for some alone time with _her_."

"This isn't fair," the clone argued. "I've got all the right parts for _this_ job too."

"Get going."

"Oh alright," the clone sighed as he disappeared off to his task.

"Now, about that debriefing," she said. "I think we'll start with yours."

--

Tsunade was not happy.

It was late afternoon and she was waiting for the last of the shinobi from Kakashi's team to report in. Of course it was fitting that their team leader was the only one who hadn't shown up.

He was keeping her from complete relaxation.

"Damn that Kakashi," she cursed loudly. "Shizune! Are there any rules that state that the Hokage isn't allowed to beat her elite ninja squad members to death?"

"I believe that would be considered murder," the dark-headed woman answered.

"What if it's justified-"

"Yo."

"Pushing your luck, are you?" she growled. "You're late! Get in here."

Copy Kakashi strolled into the office with his typical 'I'm late, so what?' gait which served to infuriate the Hokage even more. When he finally stopped in front of her desk she was visibly twitching. It was a look he was sure he'd seen before, with Naruto possibly…

"I've heard everything your team mates had to say, so give me your side of the story."

He scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Well we left last week, we intercepted the target, and we came home."

"And?"

"Mission accomplished," he smiled.

"You're leaving out a few details," she glared as she began to write notes.

"Oh, right," he thought again. "There were some rogue ninja in our way. We dealt with them swiftly and efficiently."

"You mean you killed them."

"That too."

"Why are you two days late?"

"Well there was this-"

Tsunade's pen stopped mid-sentence as the Kakashi in front of her disappeared suddenly from view. She looked to Shizune who shrugged unknowingly.

"His hands never left his pockets," she said.

Tsunade drummed her fingers angrily on the desk. "Not only does he show up late, but he sends a copy to give his report. I'm going to find the real Kakashi and _strangle_ him!"

--

"There's probably going to be trouble," Kakashi said breathlessly as he rolled onto his back.

"What do you mean?"

"You broke my concentration," he said with a lazy, satiated smile.

"Oh, so the clone disappeared," she said as she draped herself across his chest. "Was he in the middle of the report, do you think?"

"Probably," he nodded.

"Knowing Shishou, she'll probably be coming after you."

"You'll save me, won't you?"

"I really should be hiding instead," she grinned. "We're in a highly questionable relationship, remember?"

"Ooh right."

For several moments they laid together, enjoying the first truly peaceful moment of the evening. It was enough to send Sakura into a light sleep, but not for long. A familiar voice broke through the silence.

"_Open up before I break this door down!"_

The angry shouting was accompanied by loud pounding on the door.

"_Kakashi, I _know_ you're in there."_

Sakura groaned at the sound of the intrusion. Rolling on her back was a difficult task, but she managed well enough.

"Go answer the door," she said.

"No, I don't think I will."

One rough shove sent Kakashi onto the floor. He frowned, shrugged it off, and grabbed his pants.

"Well if you insist…"

No sooner had he zipped them than the apartment building shook with the might of Tsunade's anger. The force of her hand sent the door crashing into his living room. It landed in the middle of his couch, knocking over an end table and smashing a lamp in the process.

"That was expensive," he said from the doorway of the bedroom.

"Your hospital bills will be worse," she said as she crossed the room, stepping over bits of broken porcelain.

"I have my own personal medic now, you see."

"I bet _that's_ the reason you sent the clone, isn't it?"

He gave a defeated shrug and stepped out of the way when it was obvious that the Hokage was more interested in who he was keeping in the other room. He supposed that if Sakura hadn't crawled out the window by then, she deserved whatever punishment she had coming.

"You ruined my afternoon for _this_?!"

Kakashi turned and peered inside. Sakura was nowhere to be found. Instead, the stacks of Icha Icha that had been sitting on the bedside table were spread on the bed, opened to various pages. Tsunade was holding one of them in her hand, looking mildly horrified at the illustrations.

"You ruined my afternoon so you could read this _trash_?"

"Uh, yes?"

The book flew at Kakashi, narrowly missing his head.

"If you blow off another report so you can come home early and read Icha Icha novels again, I'll see that you spend the next six months running A-rank missions with slow learners," she warned.

Kakashi watched the angry woman walk out of his apartment somewhat less angry than when she came in. Her fists weren't clenched quite as tightly, and her face was slightly more relaxed. He didn't understand it at all.

"I thought you came to kill me?"

She stopped and turned. "You're no use to me if you're dead. And besides, the last thing this village needs is a sulky medic. Sakura would be out of commission for weeks."

The kunoichi, who had been hiding in the closet because of Kakashi's stuck window, laughed at the situation.

"Yes I know you're in there," Tsunade called out. "Next time you try to hide from me, don't forget that you're my apprentice. I'm _always_ watching you."

"Well I hope not _all_ the time," Kakashi added.

"Oh shut up."

End--

Note: This one was stuck for a few days, but it seems wrapped up enough now. Hope it wasn't too out of character. I'm still working on that. Helpful critiques are welcome! More Kakasaku to read on my author's page if you're interested.

_**Silent readers go to fanfiction Hell! Review!**_


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